okayso i might make a post on here once in a while when i really need someone to hear my thoughts. don’t laugh. hey, i said, don’t laugh.
i’m in the middle of developing this theory. hang in there with me.
i’m beginning to think there might be a set amount of love in the world, no one ever creates love except maybe babies. you can let in love from other people—i even think this is one way God shows himself to us. people all around are trying to give love, i think.
then once you receive love, you can pass it on, you can begin to give. if you receive hate or abuse or coldness, i think that is what is inside you too, that is what you can choose to pass on to other people.
if that’s true, then i think we have to be the ones that throw around that love from person to person so fast it creates sparks, so fast it lights up the world, so fast that it makes supernovas, so fast that everyone changes. hoarding it or boarding up against it can’t be the answer. our generation CAN change the world. we are different. look around, the smart people of our generation want to give and volunteer and find new ways to change the way things are. but is this always how it is when we're young, that we think everything's going to change, but then we grow up and understand?
we have to surround ourselves with people that are willing to let in our love and give it back—we have to make communities and friendships, we have to eat together and laugh together, and eventually we have to share, we have to let our armor down.
i think one thing i’ve been doing wrong is trying to give without always letting in the love others wanted to give me. or in other relationships, people were willing to take my love without giving in return. that’s one reason i end up burnt out. it’s not that i am an amazing giver, i do nothing but take, in some relationships. but sometimes i don’t actually have the love inside, i’m watching it shoot right by me outside the space shuttle window, i’m spinning in zero gravity but i can’t turn myself around in time. the moment is gone.
like so many things in my life, i have the brains and desire to get it done, but i have no practice or experience behind my sheer willpower. i’m at a time where i have to realign my priorities and maybe regroup my best friends around me. and start actually doing the normal things of life, not bypassing them to get on to the good parts where i can succeed.
i just watched a pretty good friend of mine fall in love with an acquaintance who i talk to a lot and it has been the most amazing and thought-provoking thing to experience as i carefully talk to him and later watch him shyly take her hand. to actually watch it take place right in front of your eyes, to advise him to go for it when he asks, to see their eyes as they say goodbye that night. they both are beginning to share, to reflect the love back and forth at each other. god’s creation is beautiful, and falling in love at age fifteen is just as beautiful to me as the night sky. pure desire is just as uplifting as the smell after the morning rain while i’m running. it sure does make me think. it sure does make me think.
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20 comments:
Okay, I'm not laughing. (maybe smiling a little)
Hey that is an interesting idea. I never really thought of love that way before. The idea is rather . . . confusing, but I think I get it. The more I try to actually articulate it, the more it confuses me. I think I'll just let that idea soak into my head for now. : )
*bounce bounce bounce*
okay, I'm laughing. I like laughing at you, it's pretty funny actually.
I think....I think i know what you're talking about.
Where not laughing at you Sam, where laughing near you.
And how come you never Cap. any of your "I"s?
By the way everyone, I changed my blogspot adress:
eowynundomiel.blogspot.com
(the last comment was not by Katie, it was by Beth, she forgot to change log ins again)
Hmm....
I guess I see what you're trying to say, Sam.
I've been sitting here and no revelations have come to me. Maybe later : )
It sounds like you're up from your down, Sam, I'm glad to hear that.
How do we throw love from person to person? This all makes a lot of since, though. I think you're right. But the problem with love is that we humans stick so much stuff onto it- none of us are out for love as an end in and of its self, we have all these ideals and dreams and stuff. I'm not saying that's wrong, but it sure does get in the way of this ideal picture. Y'know?
thanks yall. come on wheres the smart homeschool thought though. give me something to think about. expand. emily always has something to say, where's your thinking caps.
more up than i was but still not on my feet yet.
idealistic, yes.
intentionally, yes.
i have seen it exist.
i guess i didn't really quite mean that it wasn't going to be messy and impure. that's the problem with using that four letter word over and over in a post, it sounds like we used to hear in those old old songs.
i think people lose perspective and start supporting wars and living for success and forgetting friends and not making time for people and closing up towards people and assuming the worst in others, hurting others subconciously, (and etc. long list)
i think others realize how to reflect love in a thousand different ways, by experiencing beauty together, by creating beauty together, by being completely fine with each other's flaws, by really listening, by always making time, by surprising each other. i should make some poetic analogy about love being like a glacier slowly melting and moving faster and faster down a mountainside until it's melted, trickling into a river, even a raging river, but it always finds its own path because it has to, because love has nowhere else to go.
I kind of get it. You want deep thoughts? You might get some rambling from me at this hour at best.
I am in between your two types of people (oh steriotypical you Sam lol). I guess I just think you can't talk about love like you talk about money. You can give some and take some, etc., or there's a set amount. As long as God keeps pouring his love out onto us, there will always be more of it.
But it's totally in the small things. And this fall I've been doing small things by myself, and realizing that it's fun, but not nearly as fun when you're just pretending someone you love is there too. Throwing leaves up around you can get almost depressing when you catch yourself wishing for your best friend.
I think our biggest problem is that we live for the moment too much - to the point where we forget the other people we should be living WITH. And then we plan and plan and plan and don't have any fun doing, if we ever get around to doing.
Or rather should I say being? To be is my ambition (not that I'm planning or anything), but to BE in every moment, with those I give my love to. And as long as we keep pouring out the love God is pouring onto us, it doesn't even matter if we get it back or not. To bring beauty into the world straight from heaven - what more could we want?
Have you read "I have a Rendezvous with Death?" I'm pretty much in love with that. I'll post it later.
I doubt this has anything to do with the post, which in my opinion was slightly vague (haha JK sam you know i love you!) Just some ramblings. some 11:00 ramblings...uggghhhh....
Sam I was thinking about you this morning and your Judas poem. please finish it. I want to see it because I know it will be a work of art, or of genius. possibly both. is it from Jesus' perspective? it would be very hard to write from a perfect person's perspective.
please finish it.
I was looking on the internet today, and I found this quote by someone named Anais Nin:
Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.
Isn't that good?
I thought that was kind of relevant.
I mean, that's the thought this post put in my head, I just couldn't articulate it even in thoughts. :-)
VERRRya, i think i see what you're saying.
yes, this post was vague, yes, intentionally so.
and i don't know.
good thoughts.
being without your friends sucks. i am so thankful i do not have to live through that time of my life again. i do feel for you.
i just think i can't give (or perceive myself as giving) forever, if i am never open to other people helping me out. fixing the world's problems with sheer willpower doesn't work unless my own problems are fixed that maybe those people i looked down on for so long are the people that need to help me. or at least i have to let it in so it goes both ways.
judas, oh, that. verya, you have to understand, i have about a hundred different projects that i've started, maybe more, hundreds of microsoft word documents and notebooks and postit notes and little things all over the place, i write down some ideas and i know where i want to go with it but i just don't have time or i forget or i lose focus or it seems dumb. approximately one percent breaks through to some sort of thing i want other people to see. so judas is back there, somewhere, waiting. maybe. we'll see.
i like your quote, michaela.
it reminds me of how people leave christianity, too. it's the same heart of the matter, i think.
yes, I think you're right, Sam.
I get what you are saying Sam, for I have myself been experiencing love and the reflection back and forth. It is quite wonderful.
Let me see if I can articulate what I am thinking. I think you have a point about throwing love back and forth so fast it creates sparks. But, the problem is with love and all of our desire is, (at first they all are until Christ becomes Lord of our life) it is tainted. Our love and desires are not pure. How somebody displays that love or gives that love is a a reflection on what their true love is. If their true love in their heart is not pure, that is having the Lord Jesus Christ living their life and all, than they are not going to be able to reflect love in a good way or at all.
Yes, people display love and reflect love everyday. Here is the question though, are they truly happy with the love they have? Are they showing love for the right reasons? What does it show their true love is by what they are reflecting? How people love and what they love is a little window into what their hearts desire is. No, I'm not saying that we can know anybodies heart. But, by the way they love is a reflection of their heart. Does that make sense?
People need to get their true love replaced first before they can reflect or show the right love. Now, we do have a part in that as Christians because we need to be an example, reflection of what our true love is. God uses us as tools, but we are not the one to change people. We can show people the right love of Christ everyday, but it is only God who can open their hearts to it. Our Lord is the only one to replace the wrong love in peoples hearts for the right, true love of Jesus Christ. When He does that, then they will start reflecting and showing the right love.
I am ashamed to say that I have not read all the comments here yet, I am quite tired and, it's a long story.
But Sam, your concept and idea that there is a certain amount of love and that it can only be bounced around, I am not sure I agree.
I have always thought love was the only thing that had no limit. It's not like oil in the middle east, there is no bottom to the tank. In fact there is no tank at all. Love is some thing that floats around us and teases us and settles down at last when God feels it right. (though that entire paragraph might've sounded quite cheesy) But seriously! I refuse to believe that there is only a cerntain amount of love in the world and all we can do is bounce it around, give and accept.
Say for example: my love for dance is very different from my love for mountains. If say I were to have just mountains I could never convey or "bounce" my love from dance to mountains. I just can't bounce that love.
So some one might already have said this exact same thing and I didn't know because I didn't read all the comments. But here you go. :-)
Also, if there is, a measured amount of love, have you, it doesn't seem like there would ever be enough to go around! You might clarify by saying that there is in fact plenty to go around, but it just doesn't seem right, only one cup of love per person.
Just, thinking aloud.
In youth group this week we were talking about our lives, like over the past year. hahahaha can we just stop it right there lol? Anyway, they are like, has your life been drama, comedy, soap opera, tragedy, all of the about, something else???
someone in my group said fiction. how can it be fiction someone else asked. we decided you can be living in the Fiction section if you're wearing a mask.
sam do you remember when we used to fight and argue all the time? I'm glad we've learned how to live together without strangling each other, so to speak.
I like memory lane even better than main street. but amnesia lane is the best.
and dead poets society is better.
Now I can say what I was trying to say earlier. Sam, you said that there is a set amount of love in the world and that if we throw it back and forth it creates sparks. The thing about that is, if there is a set amount of love in the world, than no matter how many times it gets thrown back and forth it wouldn't create sparks because that would be creating more love.
Or maybe there seems to be a set amount of love, just because nobody can actually use all the love their is, or perhaps they won't. And if everyone did use love, then when we had supposedly ran out of love, we would have found that there was a whole lot more, just waiting to be used.
I suppose my idea here is that we think that there is only a certain amount of love, until we try loving, and then we find that the supply is actually growing. Or something like that.
Knowing human nature, that probably won't happen I guess.
i like your thoughts and it's not worth hashing out.
good thinking all.
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