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What do you think about Courtship, ie a man and women courting? How should it be done? Is it one on one dating? Or is it no one on one and family involved with most of it?
5 comments:
Anonymous
said...
My family has very specific rules and beliefs about this, which I hold to. But, what about you guys?
For me, who right now doesn't even feel called to marriage lol, my family also has, not exactly rules, because they allow me a lot of freedom, but a definition of what they would like it to be and would expect it to be, which I agree to. I've read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye (I think several of us have actually), and that's basically what we want it to look like if I ever do meet that Special Someone. The "dating game" is exactly that - boys and girls hooking up with each other way too young sometimes, and usually ending up tearing each others' hearts apart because they had no idea what they were doing.
If I ever "date" or court rather, I want it to be someone I expect to marry, otherwise, what's the point? I'm just commiting myself to a relationship that I don't expect to go anywhere, and that setting myself up to be hurt, which is completely stupid in my mind.
I guess it would depend on the circumstances, but we would definitely not start out alone. Either in group settings (like say youth group, or other friends, etc.) to see how we handle each other around our friends, and treat others we know; and then also sometimes with parents to see how we treat our parents, and let them see what's going on and advice, etc. Remember, they're lots smarter than us whether we think so or not! I guess later on, as it got more serious, we would probably start courting alone.
Well... I personally hate the term courting because it has been twisted into something other than what it should. Teens in church say they are "courting" when they are 16 and that way they somehow justify it in their own minds.
Courting is this. Dating one person for the soul purpose of marriage. This however is a near impossible standard. It's very unlikely that you will find the person you are going to marry right off the bat.
Now don't get me wrong. I believe that dating should always be for the purpose of marriage not just so you can have a boyfriend or girlfriend. That quite frankly is just stupid :-)
I personally plan on waiting for a good long while before I think about dating. Highschool is the time to make friends not waste time hopping from girl to girl.
And I do agree that initial dating should be done in a group that way you can get friends opinions other than just your own which, quite frequently, will be wrong.
courtship is what happens when two people fall in love and want to get married, but don't want to be too hasty about it. maybe? you shouldn't fall in love during a courtship, it's got to exist first. i mean, once you build a mutual relationship, you can fall in love with anybody, i beleive. so i think i would want my courtship to be the test of love, and not the growing of it. in a way. where you're saying, "okay, I think this is right- let's make sure."
so being the pre-marriage process, courtship should, in my mind, take place when you are at a place in your life when you're at least pre-marriage too. exactly how the whole process works, or should work? frankly, i don't have a clue.
5 comments:
My family has very specific rules and beliefs about this, which I hold to.
But, what about you guys?
For me, who right now doesn't even feel called to marriage lol, my family also has, not exactly rules, because they allow me a lot of freedom, but a definition of what they would like it to be and would expect it to be, which I agree to. I've read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye (I think several of us have actually), and that's basically what we want it to look like if I ever do meet that Special Someone. The "dating game" is exactly that - boys and girls hooking up with each other way too young sometimes, and usually ending up tearing each others' hearts apart because they had no idea what they were doing.
If I ever "date" or court rather, I want it to be someone I expect to marry, otherwise, what's the point? I'm just commiting myself to a relationship that I don't expect to go anywhere, and that setting myself up to be hurt, which is completely stupid in my mind.
I guess it would depend on the circumstances, but we would definitely not start out alone. Either in group settings (like say youth group, or other friends, etc.) to see how we handle each other around our friends, and treat others we know; and then also sometimes with parents to see how we treat our parents, and let them see what's going on and advice, etc. Remember, they're lots smarter than us whether we think so or not! I guess later on, as it got more serious, we would probably start courting alone.
That's what I think anyway!!
Well... I personally hate the term courting because it has been twisted into something other than what it should. Teens in church say they are "courting" when they are 16 and that way they somehow justify it in their own minds.
Courting is this. Dating one person for the soul purpose of marriage. This however is a near impossible standard. It's very unlikely that you will find the person you are going to marry right off the bat.
Now don't get me wrong. I believe that dating should always be for the purpose of marriage not just so you can have a boyfriend or girlfriend. That quite frankly is just stupid :-)
I personally plan on waiting for a good long while before I think about dating. Highschool is the time to make friends not waste time hopping from girl to girl.
And I do agree that initial dating should be done in a group that way you can get friends opinions other than just your own which, quite frequently, will be wrong.
Those are my thoughts...
courtship is what happens when two people fall in love and want to get married, but don't want to be too hasty about it. maybe? you shouldn't fall in love during a courtship, it's got to exist first. i mean, once you build a mutual relationship, you can fall in love with anybody, i beleive. so i think i would want my courtship to be the test of love, and not the growing of it. in a way. where you're saying, "okay, I think this is right- let's make sure."
so being the pre-marriage process, courtship should, in my mind, take place when you are at a place in your life when you're at least pre-marriage too. exactly how the whole process works, or should work? frankly, i don't have a clue.
Wow. I wonder how this will look for each of us? interesting/scary thought...
I agree with both of those comments, yes indeed.
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